Episode 8 - Old Grandad 114 and Keeping Your Mouth Shut

Welcome to the Backyard Bourbon Broadcast! In this episode, Jerimy talks about Old Grandad 114 and keeping your mouth shut.

Hey there, Backyardigans! How y’all are! So it’s been more than quite awhile since I’ve been on here! Since my last podcast, I’ve finally surpassed over one thousand listens to my stories, and I have to tell you, that is just incredible. I remember being surprised when I hit 25 listens to this podcast. To have over one thousand is simply astounding. It also reminds me that I have to keep up with this! So I apologize that it’s been so long. I’d blame busy schedules, because, well because that’s the truth, but it’s also played out, so we’ll just move on. So how’ve you been? How has your 2020 gone so far? You know, over a year ago, we lost my grandfather. He was the last surviving grandparent I had left, my mom’s dad, and it occurred to me, nothing reveals how fast time flies by than the earth of a loved one. I remember thinking “that was a over a year ago??” Somehow it really puts a stamp on time in a way nothing else does. So in honor of that, I picked up the Old Grandad 114. It’s 114 proof, so 57% alcohol, packing a punch. I’ve seen several folks post on social media about it, and figured I’d try it myself. I like the BiB Old Grandad fairly well, so I wanted to see how this went down, and I actually like it better. 

But that brings up another thing I’ve been thinking about my podcast, and that is I don’t think anyone really tunes in to my show to hear how I like a specific bourbon or not. I mean, do you? Don’t you tune in to hear my studpid stories and hear me rant about traffic? It’s not like I’m some type of sommelier with all sorts of degrees and experience, right? No one’s under that impression, are they? I like bourbon, I like lots of types of bourbon, and if I come across a new, unique brand, I’ll tell ya. But until then, it’s probably just safe to assume I’m still loving Wild Turkey 101, or Weller, or Evan Williams 1783, or Larceny, OOOH I’ve been on a Larceny kick lately, and man it’s good. It helps that the local store knocked $10 and change off the price tag. Actually, it more than helped, if I’m completely honest. I mean I’m not cheap, but, well, yea, I’m kind of cheap, but it’s more that I’m suspicious, ya know what I mean? I’m suspicious of companies driving false demand which leads to higher prices, so their accountants and CEOs can go home with ever-increasing raises and bonuses. And it’s not just distilleries that do this, and I’m suspicious of all of them! And believe me, I’m a hard-core, died-in-the-wool capitalist. Make what you can while the sun still shines, right? But don’t expect me to foot the bill, alright? If you wanna find a sucker, more power to you, just keep looking past my house. I love that there are Instagram accounts focused on calling out the price drivers. We need to expose those creeps charging $200 for a bottle of Weller. 

In other news, other than a new year and that whole global pandemic that’s happened in the months since I’ve posted anything, on April 7, our good coach Gundy decided to chime in on his thoughts about how soon he could see his football team returning to the “office,” as it were. Now if you didn’t know, everyone’s been shut out of the building, so he’s obviously amped up to get things back to normal, as we all are. Earlier that day, Lincoln Riley, the coach from that team down south, was asked the same question by the media. “How soon do you see your team returning?” And knowing the media’s looking for a sound bite, he avoids the trap, and gives out the canned answer. “Uh, you know, we’re not the ones that get to make that decision, blah blah blah, kids come back when the officials say it’s OK, blah blah blah, we’re just taking it one day at a time, blah blah blah, one foot in front of the other, blah blah blah.” It reminds me of Kevin Costner’s character in Bull Durham teaching “Nuke LaLoosh” how to give media interviews. “Of course it’s boring, that’s the point!” Right?? Avoid anything that will easily become a distraction to your team by the media constantly putting your words front and center. It was textbook avoidance, and Riley gets an A+ for doing it. His team won’t have to answer a billion questions about it for the next six months, and his university won’t have to come up with a hastily-concocted media response to the good coach’s comments, and he won’t have to go on a forced apology tour 3 days later. 

MEANWHILE IN STILLWATER, Gundy says “Hold my beer!” Mullet Mike then went on a 20-minute diatribe on how he thinks things will be ready to start back up May 1st and how we need football and how these kids aren’t getting the virus and they’re “healthy and they have the ability to fight this virus off” and how we got to get this country back to work and then, oh yeah, how he’s not an expert. 

WHEW. As Monica Lewinsky would say, coach, “That’s a mouthful!” How about NO? How about you think about your team, your university, your state FIRST, rather than how this is gonna increase the legend of the mullet? Think about how this is gonna play out. Think about how you represent the people from my alma mater to the rest of the nation. They already think we’re just a bunch of Tiger Kings, running around shooting guns, chasing bufffalo, swilling moonshine and living in mud huts. Think about the media hungry for a story right now, half of whom think you should be paying your players to play. You’ve already said you don’t agree with that, and now the media have all they need to play you like a slave owner. “Mike Gundy wants to put you right back to work even though it’s not safe!” Nice job. There’s nothing dumber than giving your opponent bulletin board material. That’s nothing more than selfish thinking, and being caught in your own echo room. 

Nobody needed to hear your thoughts. All you had to do was shut up. Give the canned answer and avoid that minefield. That was clearly a setup. Lincoln Riley saw it and completely avoided it. BUT YOU FELL FOR IT. You wanna be prepared and ready for May 1st? Good! Do it, but don’t talk about it. And if THE DOCTORS AND OFFICIALS, of which you are not apart, decide it’s cool to go back, then you’re ready. And if THE DOCTORS AND OFFICIALS, again, of which you are not apart, decide it’s NOT COOL to go back, and if this surge we’re supposed to experience RIGHT ABOUT THEN does actually happen, nobody has to pull out a screenshot of your comments and a calendar with a big red circle around May 1. You just get to stay under the radar. Surely you can prepare and keep your mouth shut at the same time. 

BUT NAHHHH. You got something to say! And everyone just loves everything you have to say! Didn’t you hear the silence on the other end of the line? That was the sound of a hundred journalists writing down your every word while thinking “THIS. IS. SOLID. GOLD.” Did you have some agreement with ESPN to get a piece of the traffic dollars after this went public? Every sports news organization should be on their knees thanking you for stepping on that big red button that said “DON’T STEP HERE.” 

What followed was the university going into panic mode, trying to both distance itself from your dumb comments and not throw you under the bus at the same time. Then, days later, you were forced to send out the “It’s come to my attention that my words may have offended some people…” apology, that is never an apology, isn’t sincere, 

Someone pointed this out to me years ago but I didn’t want to believe it. Mike is a big fan of Mike. Everything else is just a means to getting more Mike. I still don’t know if I believe it. But this sure didn’t help. 

Alright folks, that’ll about do it. Huge thanks, again, to all of you who have listened to my podcast, I truly appreciate each one of you tuning in. Again, if you have any comments on our program or the pictures and videos we provide, please drop us a line at backyardbourbonbroadcast@gmail.com or find us on the interwebs or social media - we’re on Instagram @backyardbourbonbroadcast and on Twitter @bourbonandstory. And you can always visit our webpage backyardbourbon.wixsite.com (I know, we’re cheap, but we’re not paid, either, and all of our content is free, so take that!) Once again, thank you for listening, and we’ll talk to you next time on the next episode of the Backyard Bourbon Broadcast! Love ya, Liam!